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10 January 2011 @ 02:14 pm

Every so often I hear the echoes of the thunder chasing the lightening into the sea. It is faint and often I wonder if it is only my mind playing some terrible trick on me, but still, sometimes I hear the softest echo and I close my eyes and remember the beauty of it; the crash! of the lightening and the boom! of the thunder as it follows her—they are Apollo and Daphne, reborn in every storm. I close my eyes and see the rain falling in glistening drops into the open, rushing, grey-blue water and the sparkles that run through my brain and the momentary flash of white light that blinds me.

Oh, the silence now! I lived so long with the rush of life in my ears that the stillness now is hard to bear. I miss the tinkle of rain on a tin roof, the soaring strains of a violin, the creak of an old wooden door. The memory of these sounds is slowly fading, however intensely these sounds are embedded in my memory, and soon I will forget them, as I have already forgotten the smell of freshly cut grass and the taste of cinnamon. Memory always fades after a long enough time.

Who am I? Oh, I am no one, certainly not the hero you seek. I am only the conduit—“Sing, O Muse!” Icarus, we will call our hero, after he with his wax and feathers who flew too close to the sun. His sun, his Circe, burned too bright for him, her bright hair and eyes bewitching him, yet even now, the memory of his voice still makes her skin ripple with gooseflesh. She burned him until he fell and Orpheus watched from his lighthouse. Oh, Icarus, his story needs to be sung, to be told, so everyone might understand the wrong he was done. I'll try to tell it the best that I can.

23 November 2010 @ 10:44 am
I’ve an odd feeling about us, you said once as we sat against the chestnut tree, the thick leaves protecting us from the bright summer sun. Especially when we’re together, especially now.

I turned my head toward his voice, my eyes still closed. What’s that?

Well, you started slowly, its like we’ve got a string tying us together. It’s knotted on my ribs, just between my heart and lungs and somehow I feel its knotted to a similar place on you. And if something should come between us, some miles and miles and miles, our string would snap. You laughed nervously. And then, I have an awful fear that I should take to bleeding inwardly...yet you’d go on, right as rain.

I laughed lazily. You think me utterly heartless, don’t you? I played, afraid of the intensity in your voice. You kicked my leg and laughed.
07 November 2010 @ 05:20 pm
Which one book should everyone read, and why?

The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
04 November 2010 @ 11:44 pm
What's the craziest thing you've ever done to impress someone? Did it work?

Oh my dear, I loved you I loved you I loved you. But you? Oh, I was too late.

I turned myself inside out and upside down and I bent over backwards for you. I lost all sense of reality and I breathed for you. I hoped you saw. I raised myself, I lowered myself. Oh, love, I broke myself for you. I ruined the glittering and the good for you.

Oh god, I wasn't supposed to love you.
04 November 2010 @ 09:35 am
little sailor
sing to me of the ocean
of the silver gale
and the breaking waves

little sailor
sing of the salt air
the gull high on invisible wind
sing of the falling sand

The day you left a piece broke off of my heart. It pierced my lung and for an infinite moment, I remained breathless, my lungs flailing in fear. I coughed it up, blood coating its smooth surface. I rinsed it under the salty water, my fingers stinging with the cold. When I held it up to the light it glittered at me, the sunlight reflecting off the blues and greens swirling together, like your eyes. I wrapped my frozen fingers around the stone and closed my eyes, my hollow lung struggling to catch up with its twin. Do you have a similar piece? If we fit them together, would they make a whole?

If I could capture that time in a noun, twist it and mold it into a just personification, I would make it into a girl with silver-ringed fingers and delicate blonde ringlets and stripped scarves. She was the essence of my summer in every way, in every murmur. The sun in her hair was the song I tried to write, sitting naked at my piano and playing until I thought my fingers would fall off.
Oed' und leer das Meer.
04 November 2010 @ 12:18 am

Article I. We the undersigned have, due to circumstances spiraling out of our hands, have been force to declare on you at STATE OF WAR. While we have attempted to refrain from entering a state of war with you, our most loved and trusted sovereign, your recent resignation has wronged us to the point of action—unwillful action, as you are, of course, our most devoted sovereign.

Article II. Your decision to leave in order to maintain your own life, liberty and pursuit of happiness is of course, unimpeachable and undeserving of a STATE OF WAR. However, this decision has robbed us of our own pursuit of happiness and by which you abandon us to the mercy of the wolves. We cannot be angered at your decision, but we also cannot idly sit by and allow ourselves to wither away. As it has been previously stated, you are our heart and we cannot function without you.

Article III. Thus, by the same act, Friendship & Fealty Act of 2010, we have the ability to declare war on our most beloved & trusted sovereign when threatened by the horrific concept of being abandoned (Article V, Section 9.05a). Thus, by that same act, declaring a STATE OF WAR upon our loving sovereign allows us the inalienable rights to:

Section 3.01 Perform acts of loving vandalism
(a) Includes minor, moderate, & major
Section 3.02 Create outlandish documents & projects that involve:
(a) paper
(b) coffee
(c) calligraphy pens
(d) t-shirts
(e) CDs
(f) roaches
(g) a copymachine
(h) toilet paper
(i) Celine Dion
(j) &ct
Section 3.03 Perform overwhelming acts of love that make you cry.
(a) Letters
(b) Photographs
(c) Hugs
(d) Tears

Article IV. These, of course, are not limited, and according to the Constitution of 2009, Amendment 18, we the undersigned are allowed to exact upon you whatever act we see fit, as you are breaking your vow of fealty & loyalty and shall not be there for us after the Day of Despair, October 29th, 2010.

Article V. Should you wish to dispel this STATE OF WAR, you may do so by negating your actions and pledging your fealty and love for us once more. Upon which you will return to your place as honored and loved sovereign and all sins shall be washed away from you (this is clearly defined in the You Should Never Leave Treaty, already written, signed, and awaiting the signature of our most beloved & kindhearted sovereign.)

Article VI. By giving you this declaration, we absolve ourselves from all injury and by the Constitution of 2009 and the Friendship & Fealty Act of 2010, we retain the right to fight to keep you in our lives as long as possible.

Your faithful servants (only while you remain our sovereign, according to Article 24, Section 42a, clause 2.9 of the Friendship & Fealty Act of 2010),

The Undersigned.
05 July 2010 @ 11:27 am
Life is dizzy, dizzy, dizzy and I can't take all of it at once. It makes you drunk and sleepy and overwhelmed with the purple-blue-green-gold intensity. It is measured out with coffee spoons and frozen eyes and soupy milky melted ice cream collecting in the bottom of your bowl. Who are you? Who am I? Why are we different and are we really so different?

Love will find us all and love is beyond escape. Love will creep up behind us and stab us in the back and cover us all in the warmth of it. Love will find us sitting on swing sets, on picnic tables, in dingy storage rooms, and cold cars. Love is little boys smiling through their tears. Love is a piecing pain through the heart and eyes.

Drip-drip-drop. What is dripping? Red wine from a broken glass? Water from a broken sink? Why is it broken and how do we fix it? You are deathly beautiful and you bring the rain. Why do you bring the rain? We arch our backs and we cry for the love of you. Oh, darling, you are the deepest dancing, loveliest silverprettyone. Don't lose us, little one. Why are you drip-drip-dropping? The rain is falling and you are the silver silver silver one for us.

We shall wait for you until human voices wake and we drown.
13 May 2010 @ 01:06 am
Fanfiction: Do you love it or hate it, or are you totally indifferent? Why?

Oh, fanfiction. I learned how to write through fanfiction. I developed so many techniques and learned so many things. I had such a strong sense of community and shared love when I was in fandom, and I really miss that.

Now, however, I'm past it, I guess. I still read it sometimes and I dabble in it occasionally, but it isn't the center of my world anymore.
28 March 2010 @ 07:42 pm
Do you believe that a higher power controls our fate or that we choose our own destinies?

A higher power... god?

If I ever ascribed to any religion
I would want to be a Roman Catholic Deist

Logical and romantic all wrapped up into one.
Sleeping next to you--
neck cramps and awkward elbows,
everything too hot.

The blanket, too small,
our mismatched feet growing cold.
I love the night, with you.